Plastic Surgery
by Sasalia32
Summary: Be cool, be gorgeous. No emotion dear, you're plastic.


Author's Notice:

I'd like to apologize for posting this heavy laxative of a story before. After extreme rewriting I believe Plastic Surgery will no longer send to to the bathroom multiple times. Enjoy.

Summary: Be cool, be gorgeous. No emotion dear, you're plastic.

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Plastic Surgery

Chapter One- Paid in Full

He was an actor. He was the best. He was gorgeous. Everyone loved him and he loved himself. He was perfect. He was acknowledged as perfect. He was IT.

And he loved it.

See, his look wasn't just any _look_... it was the _**best.**_ Years went into his education, millions went into his perfection. And he'd not obtained absolute perfection easily, no, it had taken _years _of work and money. Thousands of dollars went to his ultimate completion. Three long years had passed since he was the average, below par, imperfect young adult. But plastic had fixed all of that.

Indeed, the beautiful face the world looked on, unbeknownst to them, was just a slab of plastic. However; it wasn't just any slab of plastic. Wasn't just any face.

This was the face of Uchiha Sasuke.

(o)0(o)

Uzumaki Naruto was hungry.

Correction.

Naruto Uzumaki was starving_**.**_ The blonde laid motionless, his head pressed to the cool surface of the refrigerator door. It wasn't that he was out of edible items to eat; he was simply out of food. The twenty-three year old checked his cupboards once more, just to confirm the horrible truth: he had no ramen.

Iruka- Naruto's un-biological father had thrown his foot down, deciding that if his pseudo son consumed one more pack of the fattening noodles he'd drop dead because of sodium, or noodle poisoning, or…something. With this idiotic epiphany, Iruka removed ramen from the list of edible items he bought Naruto biweekly. At Naruto's protest, Iruka simply told the blonde to give up on becoming a big shot actor and get a real job. Naruto refused.

The blonde regretted refusing so badly, back then, when he'd refused, he could still stand. Now he slid to the floor, experiencing the horrible symptoms of ramen withdrawal. The blonde ignored the sharp knock on his door as he scratched at his arm.

Another, louder knock sounded.

The blonde dragged his body over to his stereo and repeatedly attempted and failed to push the play button.

A muffled curse escaped the door.

Naruto began to sing deliriously as the stereo failed him. He sang a heart breaking song about ramen and succulent noodles.

"Excuse me?" the door snapped.

Naruto regarded the door in awe, forgetting about his ramen withdrawals for a moment.

"I didn't know you could talk." The blonde informed his door, which, in his eyes, had sprouted a nose and mouth.

"You. Are. A. Fool" The door replied.

"I know," the blonde scratched his head, embarrassedly, "I'm really sorry but you never spoke to me so I didn't know you could talk, I wasn't ignoring you on purpose or anything."

"Are you high?"

"I don't think so." The blonde scratched as his arm feverishly.

"Open the door."

"Huh? Oh wow! So both sides of you talk? It's like Mr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!"

Naruto opened the door, disappointed when he saw a pretty man instead of his talking door.

"I need a place to stay," the man announced, glancing at the house under Naruto's arm, he nodded, "This'll do."

"N-no."

"What?"

"….Did I stutter?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact you did."

"Then let's try this again: No."

"I wasn't asking."

"Are you a prostitute?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"The moment you step past the door I will proceed to 'make love' to you. Repeatedly. All night long. And the next day. Until you can't walk for years. And you'll dread taking a bath because penises will scare you. If you are male. If you're female you'll become a nun."

The raven was speechless.

Naruto stared at the man for a little longer before he smiled as an idea hit him and he addressed the stranger, "You can stay…on one condition."

"Name it." The man replied.

"Ramen," Naruto whispered. "You can stay as long as you want for a year's supply of ramen…wait, make that two years."

The man seemed bemused but consented, "I'll get you two years' worth of ramen by the end of the week."

With that the man shoved Naruto aside and sat on the blonde's couch. Naruto frowned and went to kneel in front of the raven-haired male.

"I'm not leaving."

"Then what I do to you as compensation for the unpaid day you're here will not be seen as rape."

"Can't you just let me stay here until tomorrow?"

"Yes and you can pay me with whatever virginity you have left."

"I have it all you-"

"Wonderful, I'll take full payment then."

"You're not funny"

"Aren't you smart? You're correct I'm _**horny **_and extremely hungry for ramen_**, **_not funny. You see the difference?"

"I don't want to."

"If you look down you will regardless."

"That's it! I'll find somewhere else to stay!"

Naruto smiled, "You can always go get me four packs of ramen for now and order the rest tomorrow"

The raven seemed to consider this for a moment before he nodded and left Naruto's home quietly.

The blonde managed to stay quiet for all of ten seconds before he exploded with a joyous cry of "Ramen!"

Naruto was happy. More than happy really. He barely noticed the look of utter disgust on the strangers face as he downed the fourth bowl of ramen in a row. With a content sigh, the blonde sat back and smiled.

"You have earned twenty-four hours in my humble abode." He informed the raven.

"Do you have any futon's?" The man asked.

"Do you have a name?" Naruto asked, ignoring his 'guest's question.

"Don't you have any manners?"

"Funny you should say that."

"You should have let me in then."

"Not my fault my mommy taught me not to talk to strangers."

"Then why are you still talking to me?"

"If you stay in here much longer we won't be strangers…"

Finally the raven snapped.

"Sasuke, nice to meet you. I bought you four pack of ramen. I believe I am entitled to twenty-four hours of peace in your house without the mention of molestation."

"Ok."

"What?"

"Twenty-four hours. You got it. My name's Naruto Uzumaki, by the way. Futon's are in the closet opposite the bathroom."

With a grateful sigh Sasuke left to go to sleep before Naruto realized the raven hadn't given a last name.

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Author's Note:

As you might've noticed, some parts of the story are the same. There are two, maybe three more places in this story that will resemble that but that's pretty much it. I hope you liked the new and vastly improved version.


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